Live All Your Life

020 You Can't Live All Your Life By Trying To Fit It In The Cracks: The Philosophy Of Fitness

November 07, 2022 Cody Limbaugh and Tali Zabari Season 1 Episode 20
Live All Your Life
020 You Can't Live All Your Life By Trying To Fit It In The Cracks: The Philosophy Of Fitness
Show Notes Transcript

00:00 Intro

00:44 You Can't Live The Life You Want By Fitting It In The Cracks

01:45 Universal Principles

03:23 Self Sabotage from being symptom oriented

05:48 Creating Cohesion in your life

07:52 Start small but don't stay small

09:19 Ratios of action can have enormous impacts on your successes or failures

11:27 Frequency fosters focus

12:15 Get Rich Slowly and where we started out financially; our ruthless adherence to our plan

16:56 It's not 80% diet and 20% working out, it's 100% buy-in to living a healthier life

21:11 If there's something that's important to you, it's worth setting up the proper structures - including surrounding yourself with the right people

25:33 The Power Of Association: What does support *really* mean?

30:11 It doesn't have to be a "no", it could be a "not now" as a valuable tool for focus- Tim Ferriss

32:36 Making a change with the same people can be very difficult (if not impossible)

35:45 One objective can (and likely will) spill over into other areas of your life

38:53 One benefit of indulging less often is that you can go big when you do!

40:44 The best way to build self-discipline is to build structures so that you don't need it

48:07 Instead of developing "self-discipline" try action combined with gratitude and a sense of wonder (all of these things can be developed as skills)

51:23 Is your life one big chore with little bits of escape? You get to design your life.

57:42 Develop keystone practices that carryover to all aspects of your life

59:08 Self-efficacy comes as a result of your belief in your own capabilities

1:00:18 LIVE ALL YOUR LIFE!

1:08:07 Stuart Smally, funny, but there is an effective way to use daily affirmations

1:12:31 Wrapping up: To live a richer life, allow your goals to become part of your identity- Live all you life!











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Hi, this is Cody Limbaugh and I'm to Zari and you're listening to the Philosophy of Fitness podcast on the Lim Network.

I don't actually have a, an ice breaker for these. I had a couple in mind, but they kind of suck now that I'm thinking about them. That's okay. I think the ice is broken. You think. Yeah. Okay. We were just laughing before the mics came on for too many reasons. We're on there, . Yeah. If we were just trying to figure out what to call this episode by the time it's published, I'm sure I'll come up with something.

Yeah. I'm not worried, but the concept that we're talking about today is one that we've seen in the gym all too many times from people who come in for an hour long class and then live 23 hours of a lifestyle that doesn't really support what they're doing in the gym. For sure. And so kind of a typical outline for this might be that somebody has a desk job, so they're sitting all day and then they.

Enjoy watching TV with their family in the evening or something like that. Maybe going out to dinner or getting fast food, maybe not getting enough sleep. Mm-hmm.  and their recreation is seated and, and all this type of thing. And then they come into the gym for one hour and then they wonder why they get injured.

That's cuz Well that's, it's kind of a problem with the entire lifestyle, not fitting into your overall goals. So that's the theme of today's podcast. We might drift all over the place because we do that and we're okay with it. Yes. And you should be asking yourself, am I this person? ? Yeah. Yeah. As with all episodes of the Philosophy of Fitness podcast, we're attempting to get to underlying principles, first principles or universal principles.

I'm not sure how I feel about that word, because seems like there's always an exception to every rule, which is a universal principle. I don't know about that. I feel like you and I both have this kind of fascination with distilling dynamics or distilling you know, experiences and so I feel like universal truths is always something that I was.

What I would call it. Mm-hmm.  and something that I really like to discover. I remember when we were very first dating, like really early on, like maybe the first week you sent me a text and you said something to the effect of, you asked me a question of like, do you think there's such a thing as universal truth?

And I was like, Oh man, I, I think I love this woman . That's amazing that you remember that. Well, it stuck out cuz I was like, wow. She's like, just in the middle of the day, out of the blue, we were not having a conversation. I just get this random text from you that's this philosophical. Conundrum of, you know, is there something, is there such a thing as truth and universal truth?

And I was just like, Wow, this is great. If I had sent that to anybody who I had previously dated, they would've been terrified. So , I I think it explains why we work so well together that we really have similar fascinations. Yes. Here we are. So anyway, the idea is to try to pick our part, this thing that we observe in the gym and see where it might apply to other areas of our life outside the gym.

I think a lot of us self sabotage by setting a goal or wanting to implement a new practice or habit or whatever it is. But then we don't really think about how our entire life needs to shift to support that thing. Mm-hmm. . One of the things I was thinking about in preparation for this episode was the idea that people are very symptoms oriented.

We live in a society. Our medical practices and such tend to lend themselves toward addressing symptoms. Mm-hmm.  and not the underlying causes. And I see this as a similar pattern where somebody might have, you know, some blood work that comes back and rather than addressing their nutrition, they get prescribed a medication to fix it.

Mm-hmm. . And I know that that's becoming much more prevalent, that people are aware of this problem and taking responsibility. But I still see that in the medical field, you know, my parents are getting older and so I, I hear about various. Physical melodies and things that they're having addressed. And sometimes it's disheartening to me that they'll still go to a doctor and the doctor's first response is, Well, we need to figure out this medication for you.

Mm-hmm. . And I'm not opposed to medications or modern medicine in any way. I'm not any kind of ludite or, or you know, anti-western medicine. But it's disheartening that that's the first thing when I think if we can learn to investigate underlying causes as the first thing, then we can address symptoms to perhaps make it more manageable to work on those underlying problems.

And anyway, I see this whole idea of one hour in the gym and 23 hours of poor lifestyle choices as a very similar thing. Like they're looking for a pill to make them fit. And kudos to people who come into the gym at all, because at least they're taking ownership. And realize that there's work involved in their fitness.

But I think it's part of this whole societal sort of expectation that there's just some specific solution that I can do to fix this one problem. And sometimes we need to look at a more holistic approach. Well, something that's coming to mind for me right now is that, you know, an hour a day would be minimum.

I mean, I think that's really dependent on like what the rest of your day looks like. Mm-hmm. , you know, if you're somebody who works outside or sits at a desk all day, I think it really needs to be gauged based on what your lifestyle looks like in general. And, you know, I don't think there are any, have-tos when it comes to anything.

And so I think it's really important. We're kind of pointing out that we're not really pointing fingers or like trying to shame folks who this might be their, you know, one hour where they can really invest in themselves each day. You know, not everybody has afforded the same kind of flexibility in their schedules or, Sure.

You know, financially, like joining a gym can be really costly depending on where you go. But I think what we're gonna try to lean into more today is how, like, how much more we can get out of I. Creating like more of a cohesion in our life that supports our work in the gym. Even if it is just an hour.

I used to work out like three hours a day and you know, that's not something that's sustainable, you know? Yeah. That's the difference between someone who's just wanting to get into better physical condition and an athlete. I mean, you were an athlete, but it didn't start that way. You know, I did CrossFit classes for years before I got into weightlifting and CrossFit classes are all one hour long.

I don't think I've ever been to a class that's any longer, any shorter mm-hmm. . And yeah, I did that for years and sure, like my skills, you know, improved and my muscle mass increased. But I didn't really see any major changes in my body composition or my performance until I let. The fitness lifestyle, like leak into the rest of my life.

Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Yeah. There's definitely something to be said for starting small. I think that's a theme that we've touched on before for sure, and probably will many times again, because if you can reduce friction by setting a low bar to a first achievement, then that's great. So that's not really what we're talking about as far as the one hour versus 23 or minimums or anything like that.

There's recommendations from health professionals, for instance, to get in 20 minutes of, you know, zone two activity three times a week, you know, as a minimum. And, and they do these scientific studies to show that that's effective at reducing, you know, whatever blood sugar problems or heart disease or whatever.

But then they'll take those studies. And it's just a lot of those studies are set up because they're easy to isolate, right? Mm-hmm. . So it's easy to get people to comply to, It's easy to isolate that variable, but it doesn't address the holistic issues with the people in the study. But then the news media wants to take those studies, put 'em out as like, This is all you need.

Go for a walk three times a week, and you're great. And it's like, well, that's great if you're sedentary, and that's a place to start. But there's a huge difference between that and living a, an incredibly healthy lifestyle. So I think it's important to recognize, like you said, there's no rules.

We're not trying to shame people on their lifestyle or anything, but on a broader concept here, I see similar things happen with even business goals or mental health. You know, I've encountered quite a few people who they might start going to a counselor, for instance, and they are in therapy and they're maybe doing homework that the therapist has prescribed for them, but they're still associating with the same people doing happy hour three or four times a week, maybe.

They're still sedentary. They're doing a lot of other things that are working against their mental health, even though they think they're working so hard because they're going to therapy. And do you feel like it all becomes undone? I don't, I wouldn't go that far, but. It's something that gimme a slower road.

Yeah. There's just a ratio issue I think when it comes to making progress. If your ratio is a, a really small amount of progress and then well, like one hour in the gym and 23 hours of, of a poor lifestyle choices for your health. It's the same concept, whether it's mental health, relationships, finances. I, I definitely see this with finances too.

I, I was super guilty about this, like setting up a budget and one mistake was that we'd have a budget meeting once a month. This is in my past. That is terrifying. Once a month. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. And so you try to, So much can go wrong. Yeah. And so you have this budget and you're trying to really dial in your finances and then you have 29 or 30 days to fuck it up until your next budget meeting.

And I floundered with my finances as a young adult. Terribly, I mean, evictions and power shutoffs, like, it was bad. It was really bad, but it was frustrating because I felt like I was putting all this work in toward it. But then the very small habits that you and I have worked to develop were missing. And so there wasn't, it wasn't the lifestyle change that I needed to develop more financial security.

Well, it wasn't really at the forefront. It didn't sound like if you were meeting once a month. I'm very fixed on that little detail that you shared. Mm-hmm. , because man, that's such an outta sight, outta mind. Kind of frequency when it comes to finances. Yikes. Yeah. Cody and I meet on our to discuss our finances and kind of reorganize and track everything once a week.

And there are times where I feel like that's not even enough because so much can happen. And sometimes we have a, a midweek budget meeting. Yeah, just that things get a little messy. Like we do have lots of little habits and things. Like for instance, we have a, a spreadsheet of our gap money, which is everything left over after all of our bills are paid.

Anything else? What's, what do you mean? Well, so like, after our bills are paid, are there any other categories that like, are checked off? I don't know why. Well, we, we initially started when we were really floundering and we got some help from. Our friend JD Roth, who runs Get Rich, Slowly, go check out his blog there.

It's a very longstanding blog. Many of you may have even heard of him cuz he's, he's out there in the world of personal finance and he set us down when we were floundering, I mean, we were behind on bills, we had some debts that were just being ignored. Literally just months. Mm-hmm.  of getting the same bill and not even touching it.

Stressed out, like it was, it was not a good situation. Oh. I was upside down in my motorcycle. Not literally on the road, but yeah. Can you explain what that is? Cause I remember the first time hearing that and being very confused by that phrasing. Yeah. So upside down means you owe more on the asset than the asset is worth.

So not only was I upside down, I was three months late on my payments. So just to paint a picture of where we were and we sat down with j. He helped us just triage a little bit of how to set up an initial budget. And so he had us ruthlessly look at every single thing we spent money on and ask ourselves, Is this a need or a want?

It was very much a slash and burn kind of. It was process, and it's interesting because in today's society you look at things like a cell phone as a need, but at the time I did not have cell service. I just, I had a cell phone. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I had a cell phone, and I just literally existed on wifi only.

Right. I did not have a So you used apps to call people? Yeah. I had an app that would call through wifi, So it's kind of like having a landline phone except it connects every time you're in any. Wifis, which is everywhere nearly. Yeah. And when you're in the city, it's pretty easy to find wifis. Until we moved here, that's when that had to change.

Yeah. But my point is, is that when we looked at wants versus needs, we were ruthless and we're like, I don't need a cell phone yet. Like, I know it would be more convenient, blah, blah, blah. We can justify it, but without justifying it, I, I can honestly say, Well, I've had a year and a half of no cell service.

We can keep on that track without getting a new bill. And that is just an example of how ruthless we were with that budget to really prioritize. And that changed our whole lifestyle. Mm-hmm. , we began to budget for going out for meals, and it was a pretty low budget at that time. I remember we would go out and split a cookie.

And a coffee. Mm-hmm. . And that was our date for the week. Those are still my favorite dates. Yeah. And we still do that, but we're in a much better position now. Of course. Yeah. But the reason we're in a better position now is that we did not look for a fix that would miraculously make our finances better.

We changed our daily intentions, our daily habits. Yes. And you know, I don't know if it's an overused word with this discussion, but lifestyle really does sum it up because we began to live a lifestyle where we were consciously aware of the money we were making, the money we were spending, and the money we needed to save for future issues.

Right. And we, so it, this started because I was saying that we have a spreadsheet that we use as a ledger for that gap money. So every time that we spend it, Adjust the numbers. And so we are constantly able to see what we have left to spend. And it's funny because I actually work for a skincare company in town and I work in sales.

And so I'm always taking payment and I see lots of these little old ladies coming up with their handwritten LED ledgers. And I haven't used one of those since I was in high school. Maybe when I opened my first bank account Ken, my dad was really intent on getting me onto that habit and it really.

Quickly was like, push aside and I was super negligent. And from then until you and I met each other, I literally just spent money mm-hmm.  and would then look at my online banking and be like, Well, okay, I guess it is what it is. That's what I have left. Yeah. And it would be so effing dire. Like it really was dire.

Yeah. And so having this ledger, it's on the, my home screen, on my phone, so it's really easily accessible and it's something that we are updating every day. Any time a purchase is made, which is often mm-hmm. , little things here and there, but it's always recorded. And that's just kind of going to show how, you know, we're not just waiting for the one budget meeting of the week to, to fix everything, to fix or like to manage the health of our finances, if you will.

It's a daily practice. Mm-hmm. , it's, it's an awareness all the time. And the way that would relate back to the gym is, you know, you often hear people talk about nutrition as being 80% of your health and fitness and working out is 20%. I don't like that. I don't agree with it. I'm kind of curious like how that came to be, because it's such a common saying.

Yeah. I think, what is that based on? Well, I think it has a lot to do with what we're talking about. Like you can't work out, you can't untrain a bad diet. Yeah. Or out-train a bad diet. Yeah. That's what this phrasing is. Yeah. And I do agree with that. And because it really ties into what we're talking about, changing your lifestyle around if you want to be a healthy person.

Cause again, this isn't about shaming anybody. Just like you said before, like I don't, Your choices are your choices. I don't, That's fine. As long as you're not harming other people. Do whatever you want. It's more of just to point out where people trip and fall when it comes to their objectives of their goals or the life that they want in thinking that this narrow fix is going to be the solution when it really takes a shift in you and your identity and how you do things.

And so that 80 20 does make sense in that regard that, you know, if you're working out at the gym, but your diet is just garbage for the other 23 hours, you're short on sleep and eating bad, that's gonna be a, a real issue. Well, it's all compounded, like you're talking about nutrition and I think about like my own work with nutrition, which is all through counting macros, your, your fats, your carbs, and your protein.

And so, you know, I'm trying to cut body fat at the moment and so, you know, I'm at a caloric deficit right now. And a a difficult thing that I've been dealing with lately is that I am like on point Monday through Friday and then the weekends I just tank and it's. Probably not for our reasons that you would assume right away.

A lot of people would expect like binging real hard. And just like, you know, not having any boundaries when it comes to food and usually leads to, to intaking more than usual, but it's almost, it's actually the opposite. Mm-hmm. . I tend to eat much, much less on days that aren't structured. Yeah. Just because I don't really need to plan for it cause I've got all this free time.

But at that point I am no longer in the calorie range that I need to be in, in order to get to where I wanna go. You know, even though so many days were perfect though, if you look at it more like at a weekly standpoint, I'm missing the mark so hard. Yeah. And that, I think it's really an accurate example of what we're talking about because.

Our lifestyle is different on the weekends. Mm-hmm. , you know, we're very structured during the week. We're both, we both have day jobs and we're start, you know, we're building our business and we live on a ranch, so there's always chores and chickens and . Forgot to let the chickens and chickens. What? I forgot to let the Oh, you let the, I let them out.

All right. So anyway, the chickens are out, folks. Don't worry.  run for your lives. But I guess what I was saying is we're really structured during the week because we have so much on our plate. We do meal prep. We're eating much the same, you know, day after day, only for one meal in a really structured way, but in the structure of, it's the same.

Like I, I have a protein shake after my workout. I have a, a fatty midday, mid-morning snack. Well, and we eat at the same time. Yes. Of the day. Yes. And on the weekends. On the weekends, we're really trying to push to launch a lot of exciting things with the lium and with personal excellence training. And so we're always, Setting up equipment or recording a bunch of podcasts, doing some editing, programming, programming for clients catching up with our families.

Yeah. All, all the stuff that we don't get to do during the week and then your nutrition falls off. So really what that is a symptom of the lifestyle. The lifestyle on the weekends Yes. Is not health centric other than, you know, we're really trying to get that workout in first thing in the morning, but it's also not regimented the same like mm-hmm.

I don't know if I'd go as far to say. It's not health centric. Like we worked out this morning, we're doing a lot of things that are like good for us like in spirit, you know, like going on dates, going fishing, which we still haven't done this season yet, but we plan to. But I've become really like reliant on the structure that we have during the week.

Mm-hmm.  and so, It's, it just kind of goes to show that like if there's something that's important to you, you must build around it. Yeah. Right. You have to like set the infrastructure up in order for you to actually do it. And I love that you just said that because I think a more common phrase is, if you want something bad enough, you'll get it done kind of thing.

And this is this motivational rah thing. I, I have heard that said to me, or you know, from a stage or read it in a book and it's actually brought me to tears because I sometimes have been working toward a goal or some objective so hard, like I want it so bad and I'm not making progress. And then I read something like that and it's like, well, fuck you then.

Like, I want this. Right. But what I was feeling, how insulting Yeah. But what I was failing to do is the thing that you just said, which is you need to structure, you need to build a structure around. The things that you're trying to accomplish. So it's not bad enough to want it real bad. It's not even enough to work real hard.

You have to build structures in your life that support the direction that you're wanting to go. Well, and that's no simple task, like structure. Does not just mean like having appointments or a job to keep you on a timetable, that's also who you're surrounding yourself with. Absolutely. We've been talking about this a lot lately because I'm actually going through their certification for Working Against Gravity, which is the, the company that I've been doing nutrition coaching with.

I wanna be a coach for them as well. And one thing that they have in their their, what is it, their questionnaire for new clients is what the support structure.  in your family is like, or your friends, like, if you were to tell them you were doing this, would you get support from them? Mm-hmm. , Is this something that you can be open about?

And it's funny because when I see it, I'm like, Oh, no brainer. Like everybody in my family's gonna be like super stoked for me. And like, when you and I go visit my family, like they stock the fridge with things that we can eat or want to eat and it's no big deal. But you've also expressed to me that you've had clients in the past where that was really not the case mm-hmm.

and it did not serve them in a way that they were able to continue working with you. Yeah. Particular example, I won't name names, but I had this gentleman come into me and he was just the sweetest guy. He was over 500 pounds. I wanna say he was pushing 700, but I'm, I'm forgetting. But he wanted desperately to change and he was, His whole family.

He had three adult sons that still lived at home with them and his wife, and all five of them were clinically morbidly obese. So, you know, this isn't a fat shaming segment or anything. I'm just saying that he really wanted to take charge of his health, do the right thing, said an example. Yes. And hopefully set an example for his family.

And it was the saddest thing that I experienced up to that point in coaching when he told me that his family were mocking him.  as a joke. Like they thought it was just hilarious that he was going to the gym because they had accepted that we are a fat family. What are you doing? Like, this is so dumb. How dare you.

Yeah, they were really, really kind of like the bullies on the playground type of situation, pointing, laughing, you know, that kind of thing. And he took it all in good stride on the surface. But unfortunately he didn't stick with the program for very long, even though he worked with me for a few months, lost a hundred pounds.

Oh my gosh. His, his knees stopped hurting even though he was still really heavy. Just that, that difference was such a relief to his joints, you know, He could get up more easily, he walk better, like everything was going the right direction. And then he fell off the wagon and it's, it's hard enough to make a massive lifestyle change like that.

But if you're surrounding yourself with people who are not supporting, You in that endeavor. That's rough. It's really rough. And it's not even that, that was a really extreme example. Well, and it might not be the only reason that he fell off the wagon, but it's definitely something you're aware of that would contribute to it.

Yeah. But this brings up a, a topic I really wanted to touch on today, which was the power of association. And I think this is gonna be a separate podcast later on down the road, so I don't wanna get too deep here, but I have had encounters in the past where it wasn't active an active attempt to discourage me, but it wasn't support either.

And I think that there's a gray area in there where somebody who's close to you, a spouse a best friend or something like that may be thinking that they're supportive by saying something like, Yeah, go for it. You do you, you know, that kind of thing. But, There's another level of support. My good friend Kyron and I the other day, you know, I reached out to him.

He was talking about some things that he's doing with investments, and rather than say, Cool man, go for it. My response to him was, What can I do to help? And there's a big difference between go for it, you got it. And how can I help? And this is something I'm so grateful to you for because you are, you epitomized that, you know, when we are talking about this business, the podcasts, all these kind of things, you're not, When I dream big and I talk about the lifestyle that we're working toward, you, Aren.

A spouse that says, Okay, I'll, I'll be along for the ride. Or you go for it, you know, do what you wanna do, hun. I'm, I'm behind you. All the way you take it to the next level of, how can I help you, honey? Like, how can I, can I make dinner tonight so that you can edit the podcast? Can I, you, you, you actively put yourself in a position to support and those active supports are a totally different ballgame than just not being a critic.

And it's not enough to just not be a critic. So I think it's really important for people to realize that if they're wanting to make a change in their lives, they have to not just find people who are verbally supportive, but people who are really on board to the point of being an active participant in your lifestyle.

Thank you for saying that. Yeah. I'm trying to pull myself together again. That was really sweet . When it comes to maybe identifying that you aren't being supported with, you know, the kind of job that you have, the kind of family dynamics that you are living in you know, those are, those are really tall orders to ask to change, you know?

Mm-hmm. . I feel like I've been in that position a couple of times. Nothing was like super high risk, I guess, like being married and having a family that, you know, that would be, A major event in their lives too. But, you know, when I was in high school I was the new kid in town and so the only way that I really felt like I knew how to get to know people was to party.

And I totally neglected my school, which could have very well happened if I was doing something else. But my association was with people who just like, wanted to drink and do drugs and when. Later had changed schools because I was not doing well in that school at the time. I was really like isolated from everybody for a couple of years.

And then when I started to go to college I had actually severed a lot of those relationships and not, not with much grace or class or tacked, but I just kind of like cut the chord and was like, I'm not doing this anymore. Like, I'm actually starting to really love school. I was going to community college and working at the time and I was able to take guitar and bio anthropology and like really just got to play with different disciplines in a way that I never felt like I had in traditional school growing up.

And so You know, that was an opportunity where I felt like, okay, I really wanna invest in myself, and this meant that all these people had to fall away. The cool thing about it though is that now that I'm 31, right? You graduate and you're 18, some of those doors are still like, cracked open. There are some friends that I've been reaching out to you know, seeing them on Instagram, like they're getting married and having kids, and I'm genuinely so happy for them and it's so much fun to see it from afar.

I don't know if it will, if anything else will come of it, like, you know, meeting in person or anything. So, you know, it's kind of like, I forget who said it, you sent this to me. It's not a, No, it's just like a Not right now. Yeah. Tim Ferris is where I got that from. Oh. And Tim Ferris said that it was a really important lesson for him to be able to focus on because focus, it's really hard.

There's all these shiny things. You know, your, your mom and I were talking about this this morning mm-hmm.  about not getting distracted with shiny objects, which in the context of what we were talking about was our, which was podcasting. Our, our business and this podcast and our coaching and the way we wanna approach the lim and the value that we wanna offer to people.

We have some very clear visions of what that would look like and how we're gonna approach it. And it's not like any other fitness coaches out there. And so she was just saying, you know, keep that, keep it, You're doing great. Like keep that and don't get distracted by some of the people you associate with who might have great business ideas.

But those business ideas aren't in line with what your, your vision is, right? Well, like, don't get caught up in chasing followers. Don't get caught up in chasing more money. Don't get caught up in doing what everyone else is doing. Right. Because then no, you no longer have the unique value. Yeah. Oh man.

I think I forgot where I was going with this shit. Sorry. It, it was really good too.  . No, we were talking about association. Yeah. And not now. Oh. Yeah. Not now, but later. So Jim Ferris uses that as a tool to avoid that shiny object syndrome. Mm. You know, where people are always coming at him. Different ideas or, or book a deal or whatever.

You know, he's really out there and, and has done a lot and it's really easy for him to say, Ooh, that I will add that too. But eventually you add so many things, you dilute it all and it's all worthless. So in order to keep himself more focused on what he's doing he'll say, You know, I don't have to say no to this.

I can just say, not now. And that keeps the option open in, in his own mind. You know, it's not, it's not keeping doors open with opportunities with other people so much as it is freeing your own mind to be able to remain focused on what you're doing because you're not feeling like you're rejecting these other things outright.

Mm-hmm. , you're just saying, eh, not right now. And so that really plays in well to your concept that you brought up of building structure around your life that supports your vision. Mm-hmm.  and the power of association. Is also one of those structures where we need to surround ourselves with people who are on board with at least the lifestyle choices that you're trying to implement to get you closer to your vision.

Bringing up JD again, JD Roth and, and his girlfriend Kim. We're all really good friends and one thing I love about them is when they decided to cut back on drinking, for instance. And I'm, you know, trying, I don't have to try very hard. I don't drink that much, but that would be my fault. We got in a, we got in a rut for a while in our friend group that we had.

This was years ago, you know, 15 years ago was a long time ago. Where the thing we did was go to happy hour. That's just the thing we did. We went to wine tasting, we went to beer festivals. We went to happy hour. We'd go to each other's houses and drink and play a board game or something like that. And, It wasn't that it was necessary, we were all very comfortable with each other.

We didn't need the social lubricant or anything like that. There was no real reason for it. And they are so supportive of making positive changes. They're also clients, so I've coached them in my gym and that kind of thing. So we had a relationship where it was understood that, you know, we're gonna, we're actually dry this month, We're not gonna drink.

And instead of trying to do like happy hour with mocktails, we would try to find something completely different to do something that wasn't booze oriented. So that might be like hiking or, I don't know, going to vintage shopping. You know, just do something that's not conducive to the same structure and lifestyle.

That was the drinking thing. Yeah, I'm sure. Was it uncomfortable at all? Like No. In the beginning? No. No. Not for me. I mean, not for me, but because like I said, we were, we were such a close, tight group that we didn't. We didn't feel like we needed that social lubricant. It was just, But also changing dynamics with like, people that you've been hanging out with for years and years and years, and you're like trying to attempt something new and different in your relationship.

I feel like that would definitely come with some friction or like awkwardness. Mm-hmm. , you know. Well, I can tell you one thing it did is it cut down the frequency that we were hanging together. Mm. Because it was, it was hard. It's not easy to make a lifestyle shift. Yeah. And when you're, when you have defaults, they're defaults for a reason.

It's because you've got a deep groove there that's easy to fall into. You know, it's like driving on a road with really deep ruts. You can stay out of 'em just fine, but if you get too close, it's like boom, you're right back in that rut again. And so I do remember during shifts like that, that it would change the frequency of our hangouts, but still, you know, they were supportive.

In a very active way, not just, Oh, Cody's not drinking tonight. You know, give him a soda water and we're still gonna go to the bar. You know, it was, it was more of the active support of let's find something else to do that's not really conducive to drinking. Yeah. So I would imagine that that changes your relationship, whether it's like the depth, and you've mentioned the frequency, but like maybe the quality had really changed.

I don't know if you can attest to that, but I feel like this whole conversation, like all signs are pointing to like, this is something to consider because it can really impact your life in lasting ways. But it can also it can really change the depth of your pursuits, like the things that you really want to.

Pursue well or get good at or develop within yourself as a person. Like if you start to recruit all areas of your life, like, it's only gonna allow you to engage in that more fully. And so when I think about weightlifting you know, I made sure to change my gym schedule or my work schedule so that I could always train with a coach.

Yeah. I didn't date for a really long time because, well, I tried to date, but everybody became kind of fed up with me because I would always be too tired cuz I trained so much. Or I couldn't really like go out on dates cuz I wanted to track what I was eating and I wasn't drinking. And, you know, and my relationship with alcohol totally changed through training that hard and that consistently.

Mm-hmm.  You know, when I was in my early twenties and younger you know, like. Like I said, like I partied with my friends. Drinking was how I thought. I got to know people. That's how I thought friendships were built and what was necessary to break the ice on a date. And that's what a date was.

You go for drinks. And so, you know, living in Portland when you're 22 it's definitely like a really fun place, party, scene wise. And when I decided to really dedicate myself to the sport, I had to let it go. You know, I was counting, counting all my calories and there's a shit ton of calories and booze and for me it was not worth.

Like my precious calorie is to throw them away on drinks. Mm-hmm. . And as a result, like, you know, I'm a few years out now of competing and training that hard and alcohol is like still not really a part of my life. Mm-hmm.  You know, I'll boo it up every once in a while, but that's like very infrequently.

Like, and you know, it really doesn't take very much for me to be sent over the edge anymore. So I've become a very cheap date as a result. Mm-hmm.  Half a beer will do it sometimes. And yeah, I mean, I would, I'm, I would say that that is a relationship that I'm happy to have with alcohol. Yeah. I. F to me that's like a healthy relationship to have with alcohol.

Mm-hmm.  and that that kind of level of consumption would be something that I would be very much okay with if I carried that out through the rest of my life. But I have that time and weightlifting to really thank for that. Yeah. It changed the, changed to those ruts, it changed that cycle and pattern for you.

Well, and it also taught me that if I wanna connect with people, there are a lot more meaningful ways to do that . There are a lot of healthier ways to do that. And there's also something really special about having common interests. Yeah. There's kind of a fun side note to what you're talking about specifically with booze.

And for me, cigars as well is that I now smoke and drink so infrequently that it is acceptable to me in my own values to. Get the best stuff.  like, Yeah, I, I have a humidor that's full of cigars right now that are, you know, in the five to $8 range, and they're like, me. Okay. But if I'm only gonna smoke a cigar every few months or a couple per year, that's more like it.

I can buy a $70 cigar and I'm not gonna freak out because I'm not smoking that thing every three days. Yeah. Your budget stayed the same. Yeah. Or less even. Like, and same with the booze. I can, I used to be very averse to getting cocktails out because I was in a friend group that was, we were drinking so much, it would break me, like financially  if I were getting cocktails.

Oh yeah. So I was just a beer drinker, which puts on a lot of weight. Makes you feel like garbage. Like there's a lot of downs. I, you know, beer's great. In the right circumstances, I think. Yeah. It does not make you feel great. So it's kind of another funny side tangent that when you reduce the importance of that, you can also live it on a little higher level.

You know, you can, you can level up in your enjoyment of those things. Well, it's also like that changing of quality that we were just talking about. Like you had said that you saw your friends less frequently, but you guys were doing different things now. So Yeah. You know, your relationship is potentially deepening as a result of it, right?

Yeah, yeah. Just that variety. Yeah. Yeah. And there's putting yourself in places. Oh, I just, I was just thinking, I don't remember where I heard this. I always try to give credit where credits do, but it's, I'm spacing on where I heard it. Oh darn. But it was show notes, , the idea of Yeah, maybe the idea of.

Willpower and self-discipline. And the best way to develop self-discipline is to build structures around yourself where you don't need it. Say that once more. The best way to develop self-discipline is to build structures around your goal to where you don't need the self-discipline. So let me, it's, it's kind of like my reducing friction idea that you, that I've talked to you quite a few times about and we've, we really, we really embrace this.

You and I both do this mm-hmm. , where, my example that I give, I think in my book is if I'm gonna learn how to play guitar or practice guitar, and I want that to be a regular thing, the guitar should not live in its case, shoved under the bed mm-hmm. , because even though it only takes 15 seconds to pull it out from under the bed, flop it on top, unbuckle it, and take the guitar out.

That is a moment of friction. Mm-hmm. . Whereas if it's hanging on the wall and all I have to do is literally reach over and grab it time, it's not a time management issue. It's a psychological issue of It's increasing your likelihood. Yeah. Of just reducing friction in all ways. And this is one thing that most people really love about coached group fitness classes, whether it's CrossFit or MMA or you know, whatever.

Yoga is a good example. We, if they know that all I have to do is put themselves in the right environment and then they're gonna be led through the things that they need to accomplish there. It doesn't take a lot of willpower to finish your workout once you're already there. It just, you just show up.

Whereas if you're working in a home gym or if you're going to a big global gym, a big corporate gym where you're just having to show up, nobody notices whether you're there or not. You, you can b around forever. Yeah. Your willpower, you, you have to discipline yourself the whole time you're there to finish what you started to start what you wanted, to start to do the right things rather than just go sit in the sauna and be like, Well, I went to the gym today.

Okay. Can you break down that quote for me? Cuz it's still kind of like twisty in my head, like, what that means to, what was the phrasing? So instead of trying to develop, I, I don't remember the exact quote, but instead of trying to develop self-discipline, build structures in your life so that you don't have to, So like signing up for a class?

Yeah. Okay. Setting an appointment. Setting an appointment, or you know, look at where we're sitting in this office. We have designed this office to be nothing but a creative space. Sometimes an app space, but that could be a part of the creative process. Well, you enjoy working on laying on your belly uhhuh on your laptop a lot of times.

And so that's true. That bed serves a purpose for I wish you all could see it in here, we're we are gonna start video podcasts, but that's gonna be later in the year or maybe even early 2023 because it's amazingly more complicated to publish podcasts with video. But we are in a room that we've painted a deep dark purple.

We have a soundboard sound insulation board behind us and carpet and carpeting so that the sound quality is good for the podcast. But the. Beauty of this room is that the mics are all always set up, the computers are always set up, the lighting, everything is all set up so that it literally takes about 30 seconds to get going on a podcast.

Yeah, I don't have to unpack the microphones. I haven't, you know, set anything up. I literally plugged one thing into my laptop and were ready to go. And so we have built an entire room of our house to support some of the objectives that we want to do with our business. And so that's an example of building structure or joining the group class.

That's an example of building structure to where the amount of discipline necessary to accomplish what you wanted is far reduced. Mm-hmm. . So you can save that willpower for something else. , gosh, that just the, the word willpower or discipline, Like, it gives, like, I get tense. Yeah. Just thinking about those words.

It sounds so forced. But I think that that is something that I like to think of more as like a byproduct rather than like a verb. You know, like having the willpower, like you have to say no, and there's like devil on your shoulder and you have to reject it. But I think about it more as like, I can, I can become a disciplined person by creating those structures.

Mm-hmm.  and like having that be part of my every day or all parts of my life. Yeah. You know, in small ways they really add up. Yeah. I think it's a nicer way to think about it. Discipline always sounds like unpleasant. Yeah. I don't like that terminology either. And I've, I've been thinking a lot lately in the last few months in regards to my book and our podcast and various things that we're working on.

And the lym course that we're gonna be coaching at the beginning of next year is to try to reframe some of these things because self discipline, discipline is, I, every time I hear the word discipline, I think of getting spanked. Like as a child, that's what discipline was. That's what I mean, is like, that's the kind of association I have in my head.

Yeah. And there's, it doesn't sound like a good thing. Yeah. And there are, People who are really popular out there right now, cuz they're really preaching the self-discipline mantra and, and having it as a value. And I don't necessarily disagree with those guys like Jocko Willin or I forget the other guy's name right now, but there's some people who are practically building a career off of teaching people to be more self disciplined.

But the thing is just like goal setting, I feel like we can accomplish the same things and do the same things and activity wise, but reframe that terminology in our mind to be something else. So to break it down, what I'm, but I'm trying to work on in my head lately is rather than thinking that I need to discipline myself to start a certain task at a certain time or whatever, I've been trying to reframe it as

really developing the idea within myself that this is something I want to do. So rather than thinking of it as a discipline that I'm gonna make myself do, try to go into it with gratitude and say, I get to do this thing. Mm-hmm. , first of all, rather than I have to do this thing, I don't have to go to the gym, I get to, I can go to the gym.

It's a privilege to be able to go to the gym and move my body. There are people who can't, and I know it doesn't really work too well to say, Eat your vegetables. There's people who are starving halfway across the word. But it, developing gratitude for your ability to do the things that you wanna do is a good first step.

The other thing is oh man, I forgot where I was going with this too. The, just keep going, the gratitude going into it. Oh, and then, and then develop a sense of wonder. I'm really, really, really excited to explore the idea of developing a sense of wonder as a life skill. You know, we, we tend to, In our society here, and I say we very loosely, but in a lot of the things that I listen to, podcasts and social media and everything, there's this idea of always looking for answers, always having an opinion on something, always having, you're just so sure of something and always trying to get down to the answers.

And I'm not anti-science in any way, but there's some value in having a sense of wonder, not knowing what the future is, not knowing how something works is sometimes really cool to not know. And. If I can approach a task that way, okay, I'm going into it with gratitude saying, Oh, I get to do this thing cuz I know it's gonna get me to where I want to go.

And I wonder what it's gonna be like. Like I wonder what the results are gonna be. I wonder what I'm gonna feel like. I wonder what my stamina is gonna be like. I wonder, wonder, wonder. You know, kind of go in with some curiosity and develop curiosity as a skill rather than projecting in my head that this is gonna suck.

I know it's gonna suck, this is gonna be the result. I just have to force myself to do it cuz I know I need to do it. And that's just, the task is the same, the activity's the same, but the mindset around it is dramatically different. And so it's just a concept that I, I'm having a hard time articulating it because it's new for me to try.

Well, and gosh, how do you teach that to try to reframe this idea of self-discipline into a sense of gratitude and wonder? I think that's totally possible, especially when it comes to athletics. I feel like I've been there before and I don't know if it's necessarily something that can be taught. I think it's something that can be like shared.

You know, I feel like I'm always sharing like the magical world of weightlift or the wonderful world of weightlifting and having really just eaten it up in so many ways and like really letting it feed me spiritually and community wise and my knowledge base and experimenting like all these things that are just so cool.

And I think that our encouragement of like recruiting all aspects of your life is to like to create more richness. Mm-hmm.  you. , you know, just to go to the gym and like clock in, clock out. How lame. Same thing with a job, like clock in, clock out, how lame like our lives are for living. And I feel like you and I have like a really strong awareness of when those things are not resonating and when things feel hollow or shallow or not serving us mm-hmm.

in a meaningful way. I feel like I have such a low tolerance for that. Yeah. You know, I can, I can work at a job, but I have to create meaning out of it. Mm-hmm.  to continue to go. If, if I feel like I'm not being supported or appreciated or there isn't meaning in what I'm doing, like I will not stay. Yeah. Or I would not be able to continue.

Yeah. Or even deepening relationships while you're there. Yeah. Definitely. I've notice about you. Yeah. Yeah. Got to. So I In thinking about these ideas. You know, I, it's sad to me that from my perspective, I'm not saying this is reality, but from my perspective, I look out into the world and it feels to me like most people are living their lives.

Like most of their life is a chore. You know, their job is a chore. They have to make dinner, they have to do the household chores, they have to but they approach almost everything as if it's a chore. And then there's little bits of escape. Where, Escape, Yeah. They get to go fishing or maybe they get stoned or something.

You know, I, I have a real fascination with drugs as medicine. Many drugs that have been demonized by the government and media that can be valuable medicine. But I think it's easy to de, to demonize a lot of these drugs because people are using them for escape rather than developing. A sense of wonder or self knowledge or exploration or new neural pathways.

Yeah. Or or using those drugs as medicine. And I'm not even opposed to recreational use, but the point is, is that they're living a life that they feel like they have to escape from. And I wonder sometimes if I'm speaking from a point of privilege when I say this, but I feel like in most Western societies, even though there are certain restrictions and ev and people are not always starting from the same place, and I acknowledge that, but I do think that we have enough autonomy and enough freedom in our life to be able to develop structures that can lend themselves to living a rich, meaningful existence instead of feeling like their whole life and everything they have to do is a chore that they need to escape from.

I don't like the ideas of vacations. I don't, I don't even like vacation. It's like, I wanna, how now I wanna live a life where travel is integrated into the part of it, it's part of our lives. Mm-hmm. , you know it's like with our garden, it sometimes it can feel like a chore, like, oh God, because there's, there's time restraints on the garden that don't always match up with what we're doing in the rest of our lives.

Yeah. It's time to harvest the apples. If you don't, they're gonna rot. You're, you gotta do something with them and you have to preserve them and all this, and there's a timebound around it. But if you can realize that it's something you want to do , and remind yourself that you love the process and not just the end results.

You, you can develop that as a skill, I think. And I don't know. It kind of gets back to setting up those structures and I feel like most people have the autonomy to be able to do that. They just haven't been taught. They don't have, they don't have the tools to be able to construct a life. And I know lifestyle design is sort of a pop culture idea.

There are people who make a whole living. Teaching lifestyle design. What is lifestyle design? Well, it's, it's one way to describe some of the genre of some of the people like that we listen to, like Tim Ferris or or like Tony Robbins or like anybody who's out there saying like, You can change your life.

You can do this thing. You can, you can live the kind of life you want. You don't have to work in nine to five. You can be free, and you, whatever it is that could be financially free, travel, whatever. I always feel like that stuff is so vague. . Yeah, it is. Anytime I ever used to, I'm like, gosh, that must sound really real from where you are sitting.

But yeah. But I do feel that we all have that opportunity to design our life and, you know, we've, you've brought up building structures, but you can also just look at it as a big, big, broad idea that we have the ability to design our life in such a way that. . We don't need an escape from it. We don't need a vacation from it because this is the life that we don't, we don't have a lot of time.

You know, I think it's just so sad that people lock themselves into a job that they hate might have family dynamics that they hate. They allow themselves to be in poor physical condition and, and then they can't figure out why there's, you know, mental health issues and things like that that just seem to be rampant right now.

And I think people, sometimes we get caught up in this whole idea of we have to pay these bills. We have to keep up, we have to keep going. This is the way it's done. Instead of take a breath and step back and say, This isn't the life I wanna live. And we only get one. Yeah, we might get more, but I don't remember them.

So what difference does it make? This is the only life I am consciously aware of that I have. So, . I have no shame in saying I don't wanna work a job. I don't, There's just some people really look down on that and I, I don't care. It's, we get one, we get one life. Well, you also have such a different vantage point than a lot of people.

Not everyone has had their own business before. Mm-hmm.  and you've been so entrepreneurial from such a young age. That is not something that I had ever seen before in my family. Yeah. In my family. Having your own business was something that you did after you retire. I mean, that's even still the model.

Yeah. It's not just and that hasn't really happened yet. You know, not to, not to like sound critical, but like two of my parents, I have many parents, , but two of my parents like, are still kind of. Teetering between, like, I have this career that has served me so well, so super structured, made a lot of money and I can keep riding this out or I can take a leap and do my own thing.

Mm-hmm. , and they, I say teetering because there have been attempts to build it, but there's also been like a retreat back to old models. Mm-hmm. . And so, you know, I feel like the only reason that I'm able to really do this and embark on this journey with you is because you have done it for one and second.

I trust you. I trust you a lot. And I think it was really important that just a few minutes ago you were mentioning like three different avenues where you can change your life for better. Whether it's like your physical condition, your association with people, and I can't remember what the third one.

Maybe, maybe something professional, but It's not to say that we have to change everything in our lives, but there's also like cornerstones or keystone habits or things that will like progress in those areas transcend everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. That's how, that's one. That's why I'm so passionate about fitness because it's, it's major.

It's not just looking good naked. That's cool. I mean, we all wanna look good naked, but there is so much carryover from living a fit lifestyle to benefit. All, all aspects of your life if you, if you pay attention and allow it to. Yeah. Like it can be, it's a keystone practice, like you were saying, that really can support almost everything else you wanna do, including your relationships.

I've seen people improve their marriage and, or get new girlfriends or whatever, because they began to live a fitness lifestyle that allowed them to think more clearly how well you're walking taller, you know, like you're putting in work and there's, there are results from it. And you know, growing up, I think I've told this to you, I don't know if I've said it on the podcast yet, but I remember learning the term self-efficacy and that was framed to me as your belief in your capabilities and.

So spot on of what I felt like I was lacking. I was always so scared to try things because I was like, I don't know if I can do it. Mm-hmm. , and I'm too scared to try and through athletics, I not only can respect being a beginner at something and like being okay to fall on my face and pick myself back up, I know I can do that.

But I also now have had triumphs, I have, have had success in different ways that I feel like, okay, well now I can do something else and be successful at something else. Like I kind of know the formula now, or the roadmap or, you know, I need to have a mentor or I need to have support from my husband.

Mm-hmm. , you know, things like that. . Yeah. The. Our website is live All your life.com. And the reason I chose that so many years ago is exactly what we're talking about right now, which is, that's come to mind to me, to me as well. Yeah. That I, when I first got on that website, I think the first article I ever wrote was, I, I want to not have a compartmentalized life where there's the professional life and the home life and the recreational life, and this self improvement life and these different things.

I wanna live my life all in one ball to where I'm the same person with everybody. Relationships are never the same, because there's the dynamic between people. Mm-hmm. , of course. But I want to be, I want to be physically capable. I wanna be an artist. I want to be a creator. I want to lead people. If I can offer them value, I wanna create value for other people.

All of these things, I wanna live all of that in one ball. , you know, like one cohesive life. And that's why I chose live all your life in as my website domain. Because it's not only about like living your whole life, but it's also like well I forget what the quote is that, you know, a lot of there are, Hmm.

I'm gonna totally screw it up so I'm not even gonna try it. But basically a lot of people die before they die. You know? They, they don't, they're not growing. They're not learning, they're not exploring. They have no sense of wonder. Well, what's the thing that you always say about if you're not progressing?

Your perishing. Perishing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think there's such a thing as just stagnation for Yeah. Perfectly balanced equilibrium cuz there's always something changing . Yeah. So you gotta make sure it's changing in the right direction. But I think trying to. Get back to the whole theme of this particular episode of the podcast is to try to live your life all in that one cohesive it, it's like a, it's like a symphony, right?

So you can have different movements in the symphony, you can have different pieces, but as a cohesive whole, you know, If you're familiar with it, you know, when you're listening to Mozart, because it's it's Mozart's piece and you have these different movements, and they can sound really different from one minute to the next, but it's part of a cohesive whole.

And you're not disjointed from, you don't, you don't switch from Mozart to Prince in the same song, you know? I mean, that could be cool, but my analogy's falling hard. I do have a eclectic taste. Yeah. My, my analogy's falling apart. But you, you see the idea I'm going for is instead of trying to make yourself fit with one hour a day at the gym, You have to try to think of this whole cohesiveness of your life.

Are you gonna start taking the stairs more? I was just thinking that. Yeah. , that's so funny. Are you gonna make better food choices and prioritize sleep? That's such a huge one that I think a lot of people just poo poo as not being, Oh, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Well, you're gonna die sooner, . So try to think of all of the supporting characters in the cast of your life for the things that you want to do, and not just one, you know, pill to fix it, or one key to success or one solution, but to seek out a cohesiveness with the things you want to develop in yourself and the way that you're living your entire life.

Yeah. You know, when we moved out here and we had taken a lot of time off and were just incredibly out of our norm just on a day to day, I became so desperate to get. Weightlifting equipment because I knew that having that structure or that outlet allows so many other things to fall into place. Yeah, absolutely.

For sure. The way that I eat, the way that I sleep the way that I spend my time. Like just even today I invited my coworker to come work out with us at our house, which was so much fun. That was fun. And it just like grounded me of this is, this is who I am, this is what I love to do. And you know, there's been some pressure, like since we moved here to assimilate a little bit.

You know, this is a very different culture than what I come from. Mm-hmm. , I thought that we needed to do all the ranching type things like, you know, have livestock and. You know, learn to ride a horse and like, there are certain things that I do wanna do, but I don't feel like I have to anymore. I'm okay with being, you know, that city gal who , you know, loves to talk about exercise.

Mm-hmm. . Um, I used to be annoying about it. I'm sure. Like when I would go to, I'd go to Trader Joe's and I would see somebody who had like a great weightlifting build and I'd be like, Hey, check out first free Friday at my gym. I'd love to have you. And so I feel like I'm kind of stepping back into that person.

Of course, the circumstances are different, but I connect with people when I bring them into the gym. And it's not because we'll have that in common, it's because I am, it's like my love language in a way. Like, I am showing you what's important to me. Mm-hmm. , I'm inviting you into my space and where I feel like I can thrive.

And so I feel like we're stepping back into that and that was such an important Thing for me to have so that the rest of my life could kind of take shape. Yeah. And you know, it might not always be weightlifting, it might not always be physical activity, but you know, when my mom was asking me about this business you weren't in the room, but she and I had had a conversation when we were in California and she was like, How did you decide to, you know, pursue this?

And I was like, Well, you know, I fell into athletics kind of by accident and I've gotten a lot out of it. And, you know, even if it doesn't like serve me in the same way that it might have in the past, I'm still like doing right by my body. By doing this. Yeah. You know, I don't, I don't, It's, it's gonna be good for me either way.

Yeah. I mean, a really extreme example of what we're talking about is why I got into coaching to begin with. Mm, mm-hmm. . Cause I was super outta shape sickly. Like I had just come out of a six week bout with pneumonia. I had also lost my career at the time because I was in the mortgage industry and the company I worked for shut down while I was sick.

I didn't even know until I tried to go back to work. And it's like, Oh, they, they don't exist anymore. So I had all these things sort of collapsing in on myself and I thought, well, what better way to get into shape than to learn to coach other people how to get into shape . You know, like, I feel like that's not a thought that would occur to most people.

I gotta walk the walk, you know? Yeah. There are times, to be honest, when that's backfired, because I've been so exhausted and consumed by the business aspect of the gym and working all of the hours and, oh, my 5:30 AM coach quit. So now I'm at 5:30 AM and coaching an 8:00 PM class, and long days, yeah, long, weird days that I allowed to get in the way of my own fitness, ironically.

But it still serves as a, as an example of what we're talking about, of designing your life to be able to achieve the, the things that you want and not just pursue it as its own thing, but to say, This is who I am, this is my identity. I'm a, I'm a coach, I'm a fit person. And this really brings me back to my lium journal that I created, which talks about affirmations and I am.

One of the least woo woo people. I know I am not into a lot of super spiritual woo woo kind of things, but I look at some of the practices of religions or various type of spiritual practices, and I am thinking, Well, what are the mechanisms at play here and how does it work? And with affirmations, they seem kind of ridiculous.

Like it's like the Stuart Smile, smile, small thing. I, this is like before your era, I think of, of Saturday Night Live. Oh. But you always used to look in the mirror and be like, I'm Stuart Small and I'm good enough and people love me. And that's like his affirmation that he's saying to himself in the mirror and it's hilarious.

Is a hilarious get. And some of, please show me. Sometimes I feel really cheesy when I talk about affirmations, but. The way I handle affirmations is, is like a programming tool. And so you had just brought up something really valuable, which you had said that you were talking about the ranch and the lifestyle of the ranch and understanding that we can build parts of that into ourselves.

But you're okay identifying as like the city girl who's also like an awesome weightlifting coach and has that passion to bring people into a way to build strength in their body that can also really give them confidence and empower and that And it's authentic, It's empowerment. Yeah. And that's authentic because that's you.

It's who you are. It's part of your identity. And for me, that's how affirmations work is I write. How I want to identify as a person. So when I say things in my affirmations, like I am energetic, fit, strong, limber, and you know, these kind of things, Limber, limba. Yeah. It's because I'm 47 and sometimes my energy is, I, I've dealt with energy issues my whole life.

I just feel like I don't have the oomph that a lot of people have when I get tired. We're all faking it, honey. I know, but when I get tired, it's not like tired. It's like I'm sick. It's like, it's a, an extreme tiredness. Like, like exhaustion, Like I know what that word means. Exhaustion and but anyway, when I get to my affirmations, I'm, I'm trying to describe how I want to identify like my, my persona, if you will, of.

So I'm, I'm not just saying these are the goals I want to achieve. I'm saying this is who I am and there's a big difference between I want to be fit and I am a fit person. Those are very different statements because one takes it on as an identity, and if I'm a fit well, it doesn't pigeonhole you at all.

It allows like fitness to show up in lots of different ways, I'm sure. Yeah. So if I envision myself as an energetic, active person and that's who I'm creating as an identity, that's a lot different than the chore of having to go to the gym. Oh man, it's Thursday. I still have to go to the gym today. You know, that kind of thing.

That's a very different mindset again, around the same activity. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Sounds kind of like the Hugh Jack. Exercise where I was listening to, I think it was Tim Ferris. Mm-hmm.  that he was interviewing Hugh Jackman and he was saying that up a lot today. I know . He is just the love of my life right now.

Anyway he has a practice where he, at the beginning of the day, we'll kind of he will write as if he's already finished the day and reflecting on like what he wanted to get done and the way that he wants to feel. And then at the end of the day he gives himself a score to how closely he was able to match that.

Mm-hmm. . And I only did it for a couple of days just because, you know, as a person who has a very hard time, just like taking regular vitamins a morning practice isn't really something that I'm great with. Beyond like exercising. So anyway, in the few days that I did it I would say it was very similar phrasing to those affirmations as opposed to like setting out for some sort of end goal that I wanted.

It was more just like more language of like who I am within and what I want to feel. And so I was almost able to access those a little bit more readily throughout the day as a result. Mm-hmm. , did your phone die? It did. So I don't have any notes anymore. How are you doing? Fine. Notes wise? Oh, notes wise, I have no clue.

You're okay? Yeah. You feel like wrapping up? Sure. I'm not trying to shut it down. I'm just, I feel like my mind is kind of going in a, a loop where I'm just gonna start repeating myself at this point. Sure. Yeah, I think that that's fine. , anything else you want to add? No, just, I think, I know I've said this already today, but the, the encouragement here is to live a richer life.

That's always gonna be the objective for us and what we wanna be able to offer people and to allow your pursuits and your desires to be incorporated in all areas of your life. You know, it's not, it's not always easy and the roadmap isn't always clear, but it can really change your experience and it can really change you as a person if you let it.

Yeah, absolutely.

As we're wrapping up here, I just wanted to talk to anyone who's listening to this that we'd really love for you to be a part of this conversation. Mm-hmm.  We are not here to be these know-it-all leaders who are trying to preach at you. That we know what's best. We are pulling from our experiences and we love to play with ideas and see where the rabbit hole goes.

And hopefully you're enjoying that too. But I think we can all have a richer experience if you get involved. So on our website, we're setting up not only a show notes page for. For each episode of this podcast, but there will be an opportunity for you to leave comments and start a discussion in those pages.

And if that's not intriguing to you, there's another option, which is you can just hit a little button there that will record a short clip of yourself. And you can actually be on the podcast if we choose your question or comments because we would really like to flesh out a lot of these principles, these ideas, and we don't wanna just become an echo chamber of ourselves.

You know, t and I are super close and intimate and we just love being together and we talk a lot and we get into these ideas, but I think it can sort of feed into sort of a looping pattern where we're thinking about things. A similar perspective because we're such on the same page, you and I. Yeah.

You know, And so to get outside voices would not only be really valuable for us, but probably valuable for all of you as well the listeners who might be able to get enriched from other perspectives. So we will have other guests on this podcast, by the way. It's not just gonna be t and i forever. You say that like it's a bad thing.

No, but it's not just going to be that, it's going to be that plus guests and so there's lots of different ways for people to get into this conversation and go deeper. So I would just encourage you to get on that and join the conversation and help us flesh out some of these ideas so that we can provide even more value to all of the people listening.

Yes. And you know, coaches need coaches, you know? Yeah. Just because we are coaches doesn't mean we know everything. We also wanna be in a position where we are learning because that learning is gonna go. Directly into the lives of other people that we're working with. So there's just this really cool feedback loop that you could be a part of and we would really, really appreciate it.

Yeah. So thanks for listening everybody. It's really an honor to know that people are interested and exploring these ideas with us. And if you haven't subscribed, of course, we'd love for you to do that because we have other aspects of the Lyceum Network that are different podcasts, my book being read for free as an audio book, but released as a podcast in episodes.

And we have various topics of on homesteading and all kinds of different things that we're gonna be exploring. So hit that subscribe button and we look forward to hearing from you.

This episode was produced by Tali Zari and Cody Limbaugh. Check out our writing, coaching services and home studying adventures at live all your life. Dot. For show notes, resources mentioned, or to submit a question or contribution, click on the podcast tab

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